


when i look (a little flame starts to form)

by no_second_chances



Series: a ballad bathed in crimson dye [3]
Category: Lost in Translation (Webcomic)
Genre: Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Kim Daehyun is a Sweetheart, M/M, Mentioned Eating Disorders, a disgrace honestly, daehyun's point of view because i can, good god i love dae, once again can be read as platonic or romantic, why is that not a tag, wow my hate for the idol industry showed a bit oops
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-09
Updated: 2021-02-09
Packaged: 2021-03-15 13:55:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 718
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29315202
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/no_second_chances/pseuds/no_second_chances
Summary: daehyun didn't want to fail again.he made sure he didn't.
Relationships: Ahn Jaewon | Wyld & Kim Daehyun
Series: a ballad bathed in crimson dye [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2150487
Comments: 4
Kudos: 25





	when i look (a little flame starts to form)

for years, daehyun has silently watched from a corner.

he smiles when he wants, laughs when he wants, and cries when he wants.

he’s never had a problem with being emotive, and wouldn’t change it. it makes him feel genuine; if it helps someone along the way it’s all the better.

when he met jaewon, he thought he found someone similar. he beamed like daehyun and the other members hung the stars in the sky. he would pout and tease and _laugh_ , and daehyun was ecstatic. 

after all, jaewon was so openly happy.

daehyun couldn’t pinpoint exactly when that stopped being true.

it was subtle- the shift.

it was slow enough that nobody noticed until things were too late.

minsoo had brought it up first, unsurprisingly. ever the diligent leader.

jaewon wasn’t eating.

objectively, it shouldn't have been too jarring. in their industry eating disorders weren’t uncommon. they were still just as worrying, but it’s almost as if idols became desensitized to them.

(to an extent, of course; daehyun was still saddened by the concept of people hurting themselves like that.) 

for jaewon, the face of their group, who was subjected to public scrutiny on a daily basis it wouldn't be much of a stretch.

daehyun _hated_ that it made sense, and that it was even an option in the first place.

“maybe he’s getting food at that coffee shop he likes?”

it was naive, sure, but daehyun was nothing if not hopeful and optimistic. it was like his mother said, if you stay positive you’re only let down once. it’s better than constant misery over something that might not happen.

dongho’s eyebrows furrowed in consideration, and minsoo bit his lip.

he knew they were skeptical. 

they all knew how often jaewon took people's critical words as fact.

they all knew how badly he was treated by the press- by their own fans.

(calling them fans was a loose description, in daehyun’s opinion. if they selectively supported the members, they weren’t fans of the group. mayhem was four people, not three.)

with minyoung he stayed silent.

he had failed her, and by extension failed himself. 

daehyun didn’t want to fail anyone again- especially not jaewon.

jaewon- sweet, kind, shy jaewon- didn’t deserve that. (neither did minyoung, of course. ~~but he couldn't do anything about it anymore.~~ )

his smiles were worth their weight in gold. 

so, admittedly, he hovered a bit. 

whenever jaewon’s eyes unfocused and he looked like he was somewhere else entirely, daehyun would try and bring him back.

it didn’t take a genius to know that jaewon wasn’t kind to himself, and daehyun found it kind of cruel to take him back from wherever his mind roamed. at first it felt as if he was taking away a coping mechanism.

but he knew it would hurt jaewon worse in the long run if he didn’t do _something_.

jaewon, for all the caffeine he drank, looked completely drained of energy.

when they were trainees, coffee would make him jittery and bright.

now it was like it leeched from him instead. 

one day, the redhead had been on the couch, wrapped in a soft blanket, scrolling on his phone. he looked so _sad_ , and daehyun hated it. he hated that jaewon was like that. he hated that he rarely smiled- let alone _real ones_. 

(daehyun wasn’t an idiot. he knew a fake smile. ~~he especially knew a _jaewon_ fake smile.~~)

so, he did what he thought was best.

he sat next to him, running gentle hands through his hair. jaewon’s eyes focused after a minute or two, and he turned his head to look questioningly at daehyun.

the blonde smiled at him as naturally as possible.

he saw the way jaewon’s eyes softened. the way they gleamed with something wholly relaxed- something comfortable.

after that, he shifted a little closer to daehyun when he could. he ate a little more, he took care of himself better. 

it lifted a weight off of daehyun’s chest he wasn't even aware of.

daehyun smiled more, and so did jaewon.

for once, he didn’t fail someone.

daehyun's success came with jaewon’s trust, and it made him feel like he was flying.

jaewon looked a little less tired, and that was enough.

and maybe- just maybe-

daehyun was a little less tired too.  
  


**Author's Note:**

> um? i love everyone on this tag? i'm so grateful that this was well received and uhhh yeah. i have two monsters (like 10k words i'm being dramatic ignore me) that i'm writing, so take this drabble series for now. 
> 
> title from be fine (stripped) by roland faunte


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